Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Rocks and Pebbles

-By Daniel Luvisi

Tigger's Revenge, by Daniel Luvisi

I've been kinda MIA for a bit. Been taking a Facebook hiatus, which I suggest to everyone. It makes you feel so much happier, gives less anxiety, and you begin to go outside more often. This move had inspired this post. Enjoy.

I once knew a guy, who I will not name for the sake of this entry. He was constantly negative, as all he ever spoke about were either things he didn't enjoy, people he disliked, or why the world sucked as a whole.

Every time we spoke, I would have to endure hours of his distaste for life, as if he grew up in a sewer and was fed trash his entire existence. At first, it was funny to hear one man's cynicism and not to mention, he didn't have a bed sense of humor.

Over the weeks, which soon turned to months and years, his personality and negative outlook towards the world began to really wear me out. I found myself trying to avoid speaking him, declining his calls, and making sure to avoid him if hanging with friends.

Why? Because it made me start to act that way. Start to criticize everything I saw, and think to myself that nothing was good enough. This last for a good year or so to be honest, and only recently did the vibe begin to dissipate. Once it did, and I remembered how to have fun again, I could now see clearly on who I was during those couple years while speaking to that person.

Look, who am I to tell anyone what to feel? I would never tell you what you can enjoy and what it dumb. There are various properties, movies, videogames, toys, foods, people and et cetera that I could tell you I don't enjoy, but what good comes from that? Unless there's an intellectual discussion between why I don't like it, or how I could make it better, I just fail to see the point now.

In 2012, Facebook conducted a "secret test" on their social-media goliath, and all of us were the lab-rats. The test was related to various moods the users are in, and what attracts them to others. The study reported that through various negative messages that were being read, those readers would soon after project just as negative, if not worst, messages. Those who weren't being negative, and we're responding with positive reactions, attracted more of a positive crowd.

Ever heard the quote, misery loves company? That was me, stuck in that little bubble of negative with my-then friend. It was gross, it was lame, and I felt pathetic at times for easily being angered by dumb-movie trailers or what not.

Once I realized what I was doing, and began to enjoy stuff again, I feel happy. I don't let silly movies get me angry, or one's success over another. If something pisses me off, I no longer write a status about it so the world can see. If I find out something that bothers me, I keep it to myself, or discuss it with someone I care about.

When I look at that grander scheme of things, I try not to let such nuances disturb me anymore. Like I've mentioned before on here, if you're at a computer, and you're reading this right now, then you obviously have somewhat of comfort, and a life where you are given that freedom. Focus on that, not the negative aspects of life. It makes things roll a lot easier.

As my girlfriend's mother told me the other week, I'll try to paraphrase the best I can:

"Life problems are similar to pebbles and rocks. Rocks are your goals, loved ones, family, the ones that stick around forever. While pebbles are small, forgettable, and unnoticeable."

Don't go counting pebbles now, it's a waste of time and effort.


  1. Great Post! Love It! I've met several negative people in my life too. Some are downright toxic and you have to distance yoursef from them. Even if pity makes you feel like you should help them...but sometimes seperating yourself from them can be the best help in opening their own eyes.

  2. "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8

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  4. I have found that folks that are downers are also do-nothings.

    I'm very involved with a ministry in Cambodia that house and educate young men and women that are either poor, orphaned, rescued from the sex trade, or all three.

    When I talk about it with people who are bright, and upbeat they become excited, and often times want to help. When I talk about it with the downers I usually get "why don't you help the poor people that are here?"

    Of course, this assumes I don't help the poor here, but what's really funny is that most times these downers don't feel driven to help anyone themselves.

    I believe it's a spiritual thing. It has to do with the "heart" of a man, and how he see the world, and how he sees himself.

    Yes, misery does love company, and if you avoid it you can seriously make a difference in the world. ...If that's your goal, anyway.


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